Can My Child Decide Who They Want To Live With?

February 26, 2021

When you and your spouse decide to divorce, it can put minor children in a difficult position. At Johnson Law Group, we are committed to the needs of our clients, but we are also highly sensitive to the needs of the children involved in a divorce. The child custody process is complicated and emotional, but our experienced family lawyers support our clients at every step of the way. Call us at (720) 463-4333 to set up an initial consultation.

Child Custody Process in Colorado

When our clients are facing divorce, one of their most pressing questions is whether their child can decide who they want to live with. Being a good parent is almost always our clients’ top priority, but no matter how adversarial or amicable a divorce is, experiencing a divorce can be traumatic for children. Colorado law requires courts to consider the best interests of minor children in determining the parenting time arrangement following a divorce or separation. The Colorado child custody process generally follows these steps.

Develop a Parenting Plan

When a couple files for a divorce, they should try to agree on a parenting plan early on to establish a routine and minimize disruptions in their children’s lives. It is usually preferable for the parents to reach an agreement to avoid having to submit the issue to a judge.

Colorado law divides custody into two types: “decision-making” and “parenting time.” Decision-making refers to the parents’ ability to make legal decisions on behalf of the child, such as education or healthcare decisions. Parenting time refers to physical custody of the child.  A parenting plan should outline which parent has which type of custody, and how they will be divided.

However, compromise is not always possible, so when a parenting plan can’t be agreed upon, then the Colorado courts have to intervene to make custody decisions.

Mediation and Parenting Classes

In Colorado, when parents cannot agree to a parenting plan, the court may require them to attend mediation and/or counseling. It is important to encourage a cordial relationship between the divorcing parents that allows the child to foster a relationship with both parents. If after mediation, the parents still cannot agree on a plan, the court will develop the parenting plan.


To support the judge’s determination, the court will often need to conduct a complete evaluation of the child’s living options. One of the most important factors a judge will consider is the child’s preference. Although the child cannot decide who they want to live with, their input is critical to the judge’s decision.

Other factors a judge must consider include the parents’ relationship with the child, mental and physical health, whether the parents’ have proven that they can commit time and emotional support to the child, the proximity of each parents’ residence to each other’s, and to the child’s school and other community activities, and of course, whether there is a history of any neglect or abuse.

Can My Child Decide Who They Want to Live With?

Your child’s age will impact their ability to make a decision on their own behalf. Although there is no set age in Colorado for when a child may decide which parent to live with, when a child is mature enough to express an independent preference, their wishes are an important factor in the court’s decision. A younger teenager, like a 13-year-old, may be able to express their wishes, but their preference may not carry as much weight as a 17-year-old, who the court may view as more mature and in a better position to make an independent judgment. No matter how strong the child’s preference is, it is not the final word on the matter. The judge has to consider other factors to ensure that the arrangement is in the child’s best interest.

Can a Child Refuse Visitation?

After a custody order is in place, a child may express a desire not to spend time with a certain parent. Similar to the way in which a child cannot make the final decision on who gets primary parental responsibility, they also cannot demand a modification to the child custody order later on, unless certain circumstances are met. For example, under Colorado law, if a child’s physical health or emotional development is impaired by the parenting time with a specific parent, the court can restrict parenting time. Otherwise, the original parenting plan will stay in place, and the child will continue to live at their primary custodian’s residence.

However, the custody plan can also change by consent. If a child strongly wishes for the custody agreement to change, sometimes it is in the best interests of all parties involved for the parents to consent to the change. While your relationship with your children is one of the most important relationships in your life, you do not want to risk the long-term relationship with your child by refusing to respect their wishes. At Johnson Law Group, we understand that divorce and child custody is more than just what is on the paperwork. This is an emotionally difficult time for everyone involved, and we strive to make the process as amicable and efficient as possible through mediation and compromise.

Call the Family Lawyers at Johnson Law Group

At Johnson Law Group, our experienced and dedicated Colorado family lawyers work hard to represent our clients in divorce and child custody disputes. Our team understands not only the complex legal issues involved in parenting time arrangements but also the unique needs of the children. We work with our clients to support their children through the process as well. We show each of our clients the compassion they deserve as they face one of the most difficult times of their lives and fight vigorously to defend their fundamental rights as a parent. Call us today at (720) 463-4333 to set up a free case review with one of our experienced Colorado lawyers.

Johnson Law Group Logo

Subscribe To Receive Important Information

Join our email list to receive the latest news and updates from our Family Law Team.

Thank you for subscribing to Johnson Law Group. You will now start receiving important information.

Written by Family Law Attorney Myles S. Johnson
Divorce doesn’t have to be dramatic. For the litigants, losing your spouse is significant enough. But you can choose the way it affects your daily life. The only guarantee I can give is that the feeling that you have right now will not be the feeling you end with. This is a season in your life, and it must be approached that way.
Our experience, dedication to Colorado families, and our success in each case we represent sets us apart from the competition. We are passionate about family and estate law. Our highly-qualified team will work tirelessly to achieve the best possible results in your case.


13599 East 104th Avenue 
Suite 300
Commerce City, CO 80022
Phone: 720-452-2540
Fax: 720-500-6087


2373 Central Park Blvd.,
Suite 300
Denver, CO 80238
Phone: 720-452-2540
Fax: 720-500-6087


2580 E Harmony Rd
Suite 201 
Fort Collins, CO 80528
Phone: 720-452-2540
Fax: 720-500-6087


2438 Research Pkwy
Suite 205
Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Phone: 719-624-8712
Fax: 720-500-6087


Fast & responsive family law team

  • Hidden
  • Hidden
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Johnson Law Group, LLC is located in Denver, CO and serves clients in and around Englewood, Denver, Aurora, Littleton, Wheat Ridge, Adams County, Arapahoe County and Denver County.
Attorney Advertising. This website is designed for general information only. The information presented at this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice nor the formation of a lawyer/client relationship.

Copyright © 2023 All rights reserved.
720-445-4444 linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram