The decision to divorce can be a difficult one. Even for spouses who are reasonably sure that divorce is the right option for their situation, there can be a number of practical and protective steps they may need to take before they ask for a divorce or file a petition with the Colorado courts. There are a few generally applicable steps that can be useful in a wide variety of cases, but a customized consultation with a family lawyer in your area can often provide a more well-rounded perspective tailored to your unique circumstances. Reach out to a member of the experienced team at Johnson Law Group by calling our office in the Denver area today at (720) 445-4444 to find a time that works for you.
There is a reason why many states impose a mandatory “cooling-off” period between the initial divorce filing and any hearing to further the case. Second thoughts, reconciliations, and other considerations can easily intervene between “I want a divorce” and a court’s decree of dissolution of marriage. Often these factors do not change an individual’s determination to get a divorce. Occasionally, however, spouses wish that they had chosen a different path – and once they have taken the step of filing, they feel that it is impossible to “go back” and try to make things right with their now-former partner. Be sure that you know your reasons for pursuing a divorce, and take time to truly assess whether you are more comfortable with those reasons than you are with any of their alternatives.
Unfortunately, some spouses do respond to the news that their partner wants a divorce by attempting to change or conceal important financial information. You can take proactive measures to guard against this possibility – whether it seems likely in a particular situation or not – by reviewing all of your shared accounts and financial documents, in order to ensure you have an accurate “snapshot” of the household’s current situation against which you can measure any information that is shared during the discovery process for a Colorado divorce.
Often, individuals considering divorce move to this step because they feel their current situation is unbearable. Sometimes, when confronted with the reality of divorce proceedings, they find that the alternatives presented are not as much better as they might have hoped, and they question whether they have made the right call. Knowing your options connects, in some ways, to knowing your “why” – each individual has different needs, preferences, and priorities. What is right for one person may not be a good fit for someone else. Making a realistic assessment of what your life is likely to look like during and after a divorce can help you to decide whether separating from your spouse to pursue your own path is truly the right decision for you.
Once divorce proceedings begin, a Colorado judge or magistrate will issue a type of court order known as a “stay,” putting many financial activities for both partners on hold while the court makes its determinations regarding the division of marital property, so the time to create new accounts that are not shared with a spouse is before filing the initial petition for dissolution of marriage. Aim for savings and checking accounts, at a minimum. Having the accounts in place is often more important at this point than the amount of money available to place in them. Avoid the temptation to use opening the accounts as an opportunity (or excuse) to move substantial funds away from accounts currently shared with your spouse, and instead focus on making sure that the accounts are in order and accessible, to be used when needed. Individuals who do not already have an extensive credit history separate from that of their spouse may also wish to consider applying for credit cards exclusively in their own names. Even if the spending limit is low and the spouse preparing for divorce never plans to use the card, there can be a substantial advantage to getting a proactive start on establishing an independent credit history.
One of the most valuable, practical steps you can take before you ask for a divorce may often be to schedule and attend an initial consultation with a divorce lawyer. Keep in mind that this consultation does not necessarily commit you to filing for divorce; in fact, many attorneys will not commit to taking a case until they have met with the prospective client and discussed their situation. Instead, in many cases a divorce lawyer will use the initial consultation to gain a sense of how the prospective client is approaching the case and take note of any potential complications that look likely to arise, based on the information the individual shares during the appointment.
On the other side of the equation, individuals contemplating a divorce can use the initial consultation with a family law attorney to gain an overview of how the Colorado divorce process works. At the Johnson Law Group, we typically encourage individuals scheduling this type of consultation to use the appointment as a chance to ask any questions they might have so that they can develop a more thorough understanding of the legal implications of their current circumstances and any obstacles they are likely to face in achieving their desired outcomes. Simply understanding how the process works and knowing what to expect can be extremely helpful to many people in improving confidence in their eventual decision – whatever it may be – and overall peace of mind.
Family law attorneys are very much aware that the vast majority of our divorce clients devoutly wish they had never needed our services. Even a client who is entirely satisfied with what their divorce lawyer has done in their case can still feel bereft and long for a world in which they had never had a reason to call a divorce attorney. If a couple is struggling and both partners are willing to attend family or marriage counseling, then that initial phone call may never be necessary.
If your spouse is not willing to attend family or marital counseling sessions, or if other factors – such as a pattern of deception, or domestic abuse – lead you to feel that you are unsafe, or that the relationship may truly not be worth saving, then discussing your experience with a mental health professional as you prepare for and initiate divorce proceedings, with or without the assistance of an attorney, may help you to develop a set of intellectual tools that will bolster your emotional resilience and make navigating the various possible challenges in your divorce a bit more manageable.
Couples taking the step of filing for divorce after an initial separation will typically already be living in separate households. In that instance, the steps they need to take in order to accommodate the filing may be minimal. When both partners are still living under a shared roof, however, the moment when one spouse decides to ask for a divorce can make for some very uncomfortable encounters – even if the split is amicable. This step can also look somewhat different depending on whether you speak to your spouse directly, in person, to ask for a divorce versus having them served with papers.
C.R.S. § 14-10-107 allows spouses who agree with each other that a divorce is the appropriate choice for their situation to file the petition for dissolution of marriage as co-petitioners, rather than requiring that one spouse file as a petitioner and the other receive “service of process” as a respondent. Couples who are filing as co-petitioners will likely be able to work together to establish dual household arrangements to last through the divorce proceedings. This cooperative approach can be helpful to all involved, especially if the divorcing spouses have children together; however, it is not a realistic option in every situation.
If you and your spouse are not filing jointly as co-petitioners, Rule 4 of the Colorado Rules of Civil Procedure will require that the non-petitioning spouse be served with divorce papers as a “respondent” – but there is no requirement that the divorce papers must come as a surprise. Couples can, and many do, discuss their options for pursuing a divorce in Colorado extensively prior to either spouse filing, whether or not they eventually decide to file their petition jointly; on the other hand, if you have concerns that your situation may be unsafe, then filing first and making arrangements for your former spouse to be served when you are not present may be a wise move. Your personal circumstances and the nature of your relationship with the person you are divorcing will therefore contribute significantly to what this step may look like, but as a general rule, it can be a good idea to ensure that at least one spouse has somewhere other than the shared home in which he or she can spend at least a few nights. If you have children with your spouse and safety is not a concern, you may also want to have a plan in place that will make sure both parents have an opportunity to spend some time with the children over the days or weeks immediately following the initial divorce filing.
If you are struggling with the decision to pursue a divorce in Colorado, or with how to initiate the process, you likely have a number of questions about what the legal options are and the pitfalls an individual approaching divorce needs to avoid. There are a few steps that have strong general applicability across a wide variety of divorce scenarios, but the reality is that the most useful answers to how any individual should prepare before they ask for a divorce and what they can expect in the early stages of the divorce process will always depend heavily on the specifics of the marriage and the circumstances of the divorce. A consultation with a knowledgeable family law attorney in the Denver area may help you gain perspective on your situation. Call the Johnson Law Group today at (720) 445-4444 to book your appointment.
Join our email list to receive the latest news and updates from our Family Law Team.
Thank you for subscribing to Johnson Law Group. You will now start receiving important information.
720-445-4444
